“Your wedding is SO you.“
“…the wedding of your dreams.”
“Your special day.”
There’s a lot of pressure in wedding planning to create an event that magically embodies my taste and personality in a way that not only provides every attendant with a seamless, joyous experience but also surpasses every other day of my own as the “best day of my life.”
I’ve had the good fortune to be surrounded by parents and a community whose examples have taught me that “successful” marriage is about commitment over time, actions not always feelings and continuously breaking your own selfishness to better love the other person. But while everyone seems to be down with this whole “marriage is not for you” thing, weddings are a whole different story.
I’m also fast learning that there are far more concerns to take into account than traditional wedding talk lets on…feelings, family, finances, and oh yeah, the fiance himself. Which means this whole “my wedding,” “your special day” stuff from wedding magazines, vendors and pretty much everyone else isn’t exactly true. It’s all enough to make a girl feel frustrated and frankly, a little lied to. In Wedding Planning Conversation #1 alone, it was all I could do to keep from pathetically (and now hilariously) wailing, “But it’s myyyyy wedding!”
When I shared my conflicted emotions with a married friend, she just smiled knowingly and listened patiently. She then told me she ended up happy with her wedding not despite but because there were things included she hadn’t originally pictured or gone 100% as planned. When she looked around she saw bits of her and her husband in the compromises.
Despite my surprisingly strong
need desire to have a make-your-own-cupcake takeaway table, I think this is true. Because how does it make any sense that a commitment to care for someone else starts with a day all about only me?