Best day of my life

“Your wedding is SO you.

“…the wedding of your dreams.”

“Your special day.”

style me pretty blog

There’s a lot of pressure in wedding planning to create an event that magically embodies my taste and personality in a way that not only provides every attendant with a seamless, joyous experience but also surpasses every other day of my own as the “best day of my life.”

I’ve had the good fortune to be surrounded by parents and a community whose examples have taught me that “successful” marriage is about commitment over time, actions not always feelings and continuously breaking your own selfishness to better love the other person. But while everyone seems to be down with this whole “marriage is not for you” thing, weddings are a whole different story.

I’m also fast learning that there are far more concerns to take into account than traditional wedding talk lets on…feelings, family, finances, and oh yeah, the fiance himself. Which means this whole “my wedding,” “your special day” stuff from wedding magazines, vendors and pretty much everyone else isn’t exactly true. It’s all enough to make a girl feel frustrated and frankly, a little lied to. In Wedding Planning Conversation #1 alone, it was all I could do to keep from pathetically (and now hilariously) wailing, “But it’s myyyyy wedding!”

When I shared my conflicted emotions with a married friend, she just smiled knowingly and listened patiently. She then told me she ended up happy with her wedding not despite but because there were things included she hadn’t originally pictured or gone 100% as planned. When she looked around she saw bits of her and her husband in the compromises.

Despite my surprisingly strong need desire to have a make-your-own-cupcake takeaway table, I think this is true. Because how does it make any sense that a commitment to care for someone else starts with a day all about only me?

Side effects of engagement

Appreciating the city from Central Park...
Appreciating the city from Central Park…
Fantastic espresso followed by Central Park...a brisk (ha) 65 degree day in November!
Fantastic espresso followed by Central Park…a brisk (ha) 65 degree day in November!
First broadway show for the boyfriend, first together.
First broadway show for the boyfriend, first together.
The view from our friends' kidding.
The view from our friends’ apartment…no kidding.
I'm saying it...Best bakery in NYC!
I’m saying it…Best bakery in NYC!
Apparently this is the 'temporary' ring and I get a new one next I also get flown to New York again next week? Just asking.
Apparently this is the ‘temporary’ ring and I get a new one next week…do I also get flown to New York again next week? Just asking.
Post-engagement tapas with sweet friends.
Post-engagement tapas with sweet friends.
Homecoming surprise with dear friends, my madre, prosecco and Sprinkles gluten free cupcakes of course!
Homecoming surprise with dear friends, my madre, prosecco and Sprinkles gluten free cupcakes of course!
Banksy? Or just a look-alike? Either way, it is true.
Banksy? Or just a look-alike? Either way, it is true.

Last week I found myself in an unexpected but all-consuming state of crazy. Somewhere between fearing discussing marriage with the boyfriend, rolling my eyes at yet another engagement announcement on Facebook and scoffing at friends’ complaints about how frustrating the post-talk, pre-engagement phase is, I had the overwhelming realization: I need a wedding Pinterest board. Like now.

Within a few hours I was right beside those friends, pinning all the things and moaning, “Why doesn’t he just do it already so I don’t have to be stuck waiting around? I don’t even know if it will really happen! Not to mention waiting for my fate to be instigated by a man is decidedly insulting for my feminist sensibilities…but there’s still no chance I’m the one proposing.”


Little did I know I wouldn’t have to wait more than a few days, as I was whisked off to New York City for the weekend with loverly friends, front mezzanine Broadway musical seats, a leisurely Central Park stroll, gluten/dairy/soy-free baked deliciousness from Babycakes and finally, a candlelit rooftop proposal overlooking the New Yorker and Empire State buildings. (Yeah, he might be a keeper.)

It turns out, though, getting engaged only exponentially increases the amount of uncertainty. Not only are there actual wedding plans to make (blagh), but we’re going to have to broach everything from worrying about people’s feelings to wondering where we’re going to live to actually figuring out this whole getting my own medical insurance thing.

And then there’s the questions. So many questions. I realize it’s only been a week so everyone’s just really excited for us (and truthfully, rant aside, I am too), but it worries me. I’m still the exact same person. Same goals, dreams, struggles and passions. For some reason, when a girl gets engaged, everyone seems to forget about this. Suddenly, wedding planning is all anyone thinks to ask about. I’ve seen it happen (and been guilty of perpetuating this myself), and it just makes me want to yell, I’m a whole person!

This is one reason I’m super grateful for my awesome friends, in addition to a whole lot of support and surprise celebrations, they just…talk. I had dinner with one such friend this week. After spending an hour and a half sharing work stories and life updates, we finally got around to talking about The Engagement. But you know what she was more interested in than the proposal story? Talking about how she’s seen us grow in our relationship over the past two years of our friendship and how neat it has been to see us appreciate each other the more we understand each other. Love her.

All that said, it has been quite fun typing this whole thing with a shiny diamond on my finger. 😉

Looking Ahead

New Year Quote



I’ve never been one for New Year’s resolutions, but clearly we’re goal driven people around Finding Tiffany’s. I do believe in striving to my best self every day, and I’m excited to continue learning and growing in the year ahead. The new year holds exciting opportunities at work, plenty of occasions in the works to play hostess for people I care about and travel sights set on D.C. and Chicago.

2012 was the year of…

Career. I launched my first blog and received two job offers to start my first “real” job.

Travel. New York City, Austin (twice), Atlanta, Fayetteville, Boston, Norman (three times) and New Mexico.

Community. A best friend moved back, I met two roommates, bonded with coworkers, joined a bible study with 20 amazing women and reconnected with some old friends in the area.

Independence. My own apartment, a new car and bills…all paid by yours truly.

2013 will focus on…

Health. Commit to yoga, run, eat (way) less sugar and finally follow through on some long-postponed healthcare appointments.

Relationships. Practice intentionality by actually responding to Facebook messages and in a timely manner, remembering birthdays and embracing snail mail for cards and notes.

Creativity. Learn photography with my new DSLR, dedicate more time to watching documentaries and independent film again and continue writing and blogging.


What do you think about resolutions? Have you set any goals or themes for the new year?