Best day of my life

“Your wedding is SO you.

“…the wedding of your dreams.”

“Your special day.”

style me pretty blog

There’s a lot of pressure in wedding planning to create an event that magically embodies my taste and personality in a way that not only provides every attendant with a seamless, joyous experience but also surpasses every other day of my own as the “best day of my life.”

I’ve had the good fortune to be surrounded by parents and a community whose examples have taught me that “successful” marriage is about commitment over time, actions not always feelings and continuously breaking your own selfishness to better love the other person. But while everyone seems to be down with this whole “marriage is not for you” thing, weddings are a whole different story.

I’m also fast learning that there are far more concerns to take into account than traditional wedding talk lets on…feelings, family, finances, and oh yeah, the fiance himself. Which means this whole “my wedding,” “your special day” stuff from wedding magazines, vendors and pretty much everyone else isn’t exactly true. It’s all enough to make a girl feel frustrated and frankly, a little lied to. In Wedding Planning Conversation #1 alone, it was all I could do to keep from pathetically (and now hilariously) wailing, “But it’s myyyyy wedding!”

When I shared my conflicted emotions with a married friend, she just smiled knowingly and listened patiently. She then told me she ended up happy with her wedding not despite but because there were things included she hadn’t originally pictured or gone 100% as planned. When she looked around she saw bits of her and her husband in the compromises.

Despite my surprisingly strong need desire to have a make-your-own-cupcake takeaway table, I think this is true. Because how does it make any sense that a commitment to care for someone else starts with a day all about only me?

Side effects of engagement

Appreciating the city from Central Park...
Appreciating the city from Central Park…
Fantastic espresso followed by Central Park...a brisk (ha) 65 degree day in November!
Fantastic espresso followed by Central Park…a brisk (ha) 65 degree day in November!
First broadway show for the boyfriend, first together.
First broadway show for the boyfriend, first together.
The view from our friends' kidding.
The view from our friends’ apartment…no kidding.
I'm saying it...Best bakery in NYC!
I’m saying it…Best bakery in NYC!
Apparently this is the 'temporary' ring and I get a new one next I also get flown to New York again next week? Just asking.
Apparently this is the ‘temporary’ ring and I get a new one next week…do I also get flown to New York again next week? Just asking.
Post-engagement tapas with sweet friends.
Post-engagement tapas with sweet friends.
Homecoming surprise with dear friends, my madre, prosecco and Sprinkles gluten free cupcakes of course!
Homecoming surprise with dear friends, my madre, prosecco and Sprinkles gluten free cupcakes of course!
Banksy? Or just a look-alike? Either way, it is true.
Banksy? Or just a look-alike? Either way, it is true.

Last week I found myself in an unexpected but all-consuming state of crazy. Somewhere between fearing discussing marriage with the boyfriend, rolling my eyes at yet another engagement announcement on Facebook and scoffing at friends’ complaints about how frustrating the post-talk, pre-engagement phase is, I had the overwhelming realization: I need a wedding Pinterest board. Like now.

Within a few hours I was right beside those friends, pinning all the things and moaning, “Why doesn’t he just do it already so I don’t have to be stuck waiting around? I don’t even know if it will really happen! Not to mention waiting for my fate to be instigated by a man is decidedly insulting for my feminist sensibilities…but there’s still no chance I’m the one proposing.”


Little did I know I wouldn’t have to wait more than a few days, as I was whisked off to New York City for the weekend with loverly friends, front mezzanine Broadway musical seats, a leisurely Central Park stroll, gluten/dairy/soy-free baked deliciousness from Babycakes and finally, a candlelit rooftop proposal overlooking the New Yorker and Empire State buildings. (Yeah, he might be a keeper.)

It turns out, though, getting engaged only exponentially increases the amount of uncertainty. Not only are there actual wedding plans to make (blagh), but we’re going to have to broach everything from worrying about people’s feelings to wondering where we’re going to live to actually figuring out this whole getting my own medical insurance thing.

And then there’s the questions. So many questions. I realize it’s only been a week so everyone’s just really excited for us (and truthfully, rant aside, I am too), but it worries me. I’m still the exact same person. Same goals, dreams, struggles and passions. For some reason, when a girl gets engaged, everyone seems to forget about this. Suddenly, wedding planning is all anyone thinks to ask about. I’ve seen it happen (and been guilty of perpetuating this myself), and it just makes me want to yell, I’m a whole person!

This is one reason I’m super grateful for my awesome friends, in addition to a whole lot of support and surprise celebrations, they just…talk. I had dinner with one such friend this week. After spending an hour and a half sharing work stories and life updates, we finally got around to talking about The Engagement. But you know what she was more interested in than the proposal story? Talking about how she’s seen us grow in our relationship over the past two years of our friendship and how neat it has been to see us appreciate each other the more we understand each other. Love her.

All that said, it has been quite fun typing this whole thing with a shiny diamond on my finger. 😉

Setting the tune for June

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I never really thought June would arrive. It’s so been so far away for so long that I assumed it would take another year or so for that pesky calendar to get around to it. Despite my resistance and by some twist of fate, here we are. June. June 4th in fact. I celebrated the end of May pretty fantastically packed with brunches, doggie dates, prosecco, mambo taxis, boyfriend time and present shopping. Which is really setting the right tune for June. June is busy busy and so expensive. My poor little credit card is not going to be happy with me after all the birthdays, brunches, wedding gifts, doggie care and travel expenses. You can thank me latter, BOA.

I’m also making some adjustments to my workout routine. As it turns out I am a pansy and anything above 83 degrees is too hot for me to get a good 6 mile run in – especially with that ferocious Texas sun beating down on my back and my dog’s black fur. And waiting till 8 or 9 PM to go running isn’t the best strategy for a good night sleep or a decent dinnertime. So I’m trying my absolute best to become a morning runner. It’s so hard. hard. First off I can’t breathe in the mornings. My lungs are tight and don’t allow me to get a good breathe going. And then there’s the whole “this is so early and my bed feels like an absolute cloud” part of it that is a wee challenge to get around.

Monday was my first go at it and I loved it. It was so cool and crisp in the morning, there was hardly any traffic and I felt energized the rest of the day. But the real best part? I spent yesterday evening reading, cleaning and lounging – I even cooked a dinner that was more than a protein shake. Hell, I even read while I walked my dog – no small feat I might add. I’m still working out some kinks to the ol’ work out routine, but I am really enjoying getting my workouts done early. By 9 AM I already feel so accomplished and I am able to focus better while I’m at work. It’s also opening up my afternoons to be able to focus on a bit more on toning on my running days with some ab work, pushups and lunges.

So anyhoo, I am trying to welcome June in with energized open arms. It will be an exciting, tiring, expensive, draining and super fun month. Thank goodness for caffeine.