Lean In (part two of who knows)

At my yoga class on Monday evening, my instructor talked about getting big and feeling big. About spreading out your arms, jumping up and yelling and how this makes you feel amazing. We talked about sitting up straight and how your posture affects how you feel. But, we talked about in a very yogi-way. In the sense of feeling love and letting love out. But, getting big and feeling big is more than a yogi-ism.

Now that we’ve raced through House of Cards, the boyfriend and I are forced to sift through Netflix for something new to watch and luckily he stumbled upon Ted Talks Life Hacks. The first one we watched was “Amy Cuddy: Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are.” Amy began by talking about body language. How we all already know that body language affects how we interpret one another and how others interpret you. For example, they say when you have your arms crossed you don’t seem as welcoming to strangers. But then she went on to discuss low power versus high power poses. How making yourself bigger (arms on hips or just simply spread out) gives off a feeling of power and that crossing your legs and hunching over is a low-power pose.

PowerPose

And I agree. I definitely see the difference in these poses. Amy went on to say that not only do these postures affect how others interpret you, but it can change how you interpret yourself. By taking a low-power pose, you’re going feel low power. By taking a high-power pose you’re going to feel more confident.

Which brings me to Lean In.

As I’ve stated before, Lean In isn’t a bra-burning, man-hating book or philosophy. It simply states facts about the culture that we (both men and women) have created and how women can be more successful in business within in that culture. One example that Sheryl Sandberg makes is in reference to these high power versus low power poses.

She points out that generally speaking, men usually assume more high-power poses naturally. They spread their legs and keep their arms out, it just comes naturally (something to do with testosterone, I don’t know just watch the Ted Talk at the bottom of this pose 😉 ). Women on the other hand, we typically keep our legs crossed and our arms close to our bodies – taking up as little room as possible. Because that’s what is lady-like. But, as a result women feel less powerful compared to men because of the pose they take. Kind of interesting, right?

The problem is, I don’t exactly see myself spreading out my legs the next time I’m in a meeting. It’s awkward, uncomfortable and well, it’s just not going to happen. Amy Cuddy, in her Ted Talk offers an alternative. She says, for example, before you walk into an interview it’s important to get big. Whether it’s outside, in your car or in the bathroom, take 2-5 minutes to get big. Spread your arms out and legs out in a star-like posture. Feel confident. Cuddy goes so far as to say fake confidence, because eventually by faking it and acting it, you’ll actually feel it. Don’t reserve this for certain instances, I think taking time to get big should be an important part of your routine.

In my yoga class, we get big. whether it’s a warrior 1 or a transition, we are always spreading our arms out. And this resulting feeling of confidence, happiness and power is part of the reason why we do it. So, not only am I suggesting you join my yoga class and read Lean In, take a peek at Amy Cuddy’s Ted Talk. It’s pretty fascinating and she dives more into this “fake it till you feel it.”

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Friday Musing

So I don’t have an excuse lined up for my lack of posting for the last week or so. The best I can come up with is the discovery of the best television show ever, House of Cards. But alas, TV is a terrible excuse (although if you watch the show, you’ll get where I’m coming from. I mean did anyone see that coming at the end of the first episode of season 2?! And those one line pieces of life advice just kill me. Gah I need to watch another episode ASAP).

So to get back to regular posting, I’d like to start posting some new (to me) music every week. I loooove finding new music and thanks to friends with good taste and Spotify Discovery, I feel like I’m listening to new bands on the reg. I tried to delete my Facebook this week and go off the grid, but it turns out you can’t use Spotify with out that Facebook. And I simply can’t live without Spotify. Le weigh.

Today’s musing is After the Disco from Broken Bells. I’m a little sleepy today, so this song is putting pep in my step that I need to get through till 5 PM.

Wasting time

You might have heard that Facebook turned ten this week. In commemoration, Time Magazine shared an app that can estimate the amount of time you’ve spent engaging on Facebook. The prospect of actually seeing all my wasted time sounded truly alarming, so I couldn’t resist.

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According to this, I average a little over 1 day wasted on Facebook every two years. Keep in mind though, the app can’t quantify browsing, just actual posts. And I had to know.

So I made an estimation of my own: If I spend a cumulative 20-30 minutes a day on Facebook (and I do), that adds up to around six days of time. SIX DAYS.That’s basically a whole week of my only 52 a year!

After going so far as to consider deactivation, I still don’t have set goals for how to limit my time moving forward. But I know I’d much rather spend that time elsewhere, so I’m working on it!

How much time do you spend on social media every year?

Inspired by the classics

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Red, white and blue outfits have never been my thing. While the Fourth of July is actually one of my favorite holidays, wearing that much Americana spirit any other day can quickly make individually stylish items together feel like a preppy costume.

Lately though, I’ve fallen in love with unique combinations like the ones above. Mixing completely different patterns within the red, white and blue color scheme has a surprisingly modern feel.

It’s unexpected, and I like it. I’m forecasting a whole lot more where this came from, which is Nordstrom by the way, in case you’re about to make a mad dash. I’ll see you there!

Wee little tasks

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I tend to watch movies over and over and over. This is especially true for easy to watch rom coms, like He’s Just Not That Into You. For whatever reason, whenever I feel like watching a movie, that’s what I put in the DVD player. Not only has it contributed to my dating philosophy, continued my love for Baltimore, confirmed my woman crush on Scarlett Johansson, but there’s one particular scene that always stuck with me. It’s when Alex is talking to Gigi and says, “So you never wait until the last minute on a deadline or phone bill because secretly you kind of love the drama of not knowing whether or not you’re going to make it?” Now, I don’t think I do this because I like drama in my life, but I definitely do put things off that are easy to take care of. They’re annoying, tedious, dumb and I hate them. To put it lightly.

But I find this trait to be so very annoying. Let’s take for example the parking ticket for just $30 sitting on the floor of my car seat. It might be crumpled out out of anger, but still it’s there. I’m pretty sure I can pay this over the phone or even by just driving by the building a block from my apartment. But alas, it sits untended to in my car. It looks longingly up at me every time I get in the car, giving me those “pay me” eyes. But I’m immune. I turned in my check for my car registration two months late. And we won’t talk about my oil changes, 2013’s taxes, the return I never made, credit card cancellations, etc. Luckily for us, there’s automatic bill pay or we’d be in trouble.

So I’m trying to get better at this. To knock those tedious, annoying tasks out. Have you ever noticed that knocking those silly things out so they are no longer hanging over your head it feels amazing? I long for that feeling.

To start, I did my taxes. And I guess I’ll pay that damn ticket this week. Only if I have to. (and the law, nah the MAN, says that I do).

Doing it all

but first coffee quote

I realized this week I can’t do it all.

Realistically speaking, I’m fully aware I won’t get to everything on my lists (that’s right, plural) each day. But I still approach them with the idea that if I just keep working, if I just wake up earlier, every single item will finally have nice big line through it. One day, my list will be no more. Surprisingly, this has yet to ever happen, which can be quite a stress-inducing reality.

I recently had lunch with a married friend who confided about the possibility of kids, “I don’t know how people do it. I can barely manage my life, how are you supposed to add someone else’s too?”

Later, my roommate randomly turned to me and said, “Don’t ever let me become one of those moms that gets all wound up about things that don’t really matter.”

Not one of is anywhere even close to having kids, but it got me thinking. How do people do it?

My new theory is, they don’t. Maybe the secret to growing older successfully isn’t getting everything done, it’s being okay with not having everything done. It’s recognizing some things just don’t matter.

I stumbled upon this quote from What Not To Wear’s Clinton Kelley, and all I could say was, YES.

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And some weeks I’m just going to forget when it’s my blog day, miss a long-awaited appointment and overbook myself with a whopping three activities for the same date and time. Whoops.

Need my fix

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Usually, I have a cup of coffee in the morning and then that’s it for the day. Since Christmas and the exciting moka (similar to espresso) maker and milk frother I received from Santa, my cup of coffee got a little sexier in the form of a cappaccino with just two shots of moka.

But now… *sigh*… with the addition of lunch time workouts, I finally have to admit… I want need bit more coffee after lunch. Which hard for this coffee snob who resents the mere presence of a Keurig machine, so having to drink out of one is really just offensive. It looks like my portable french press (also from Christmas, my family Santa knows me well) needs to be getting some regular TLC. Or maybe, Ascension can you start delivering?!

Although I hate having to have more than one cup of coffee in my efforts to live a healthier lifestyle, I certainly can’t be expected to go find tiffany’s if I can’t keep my damn eyes open. 🙂

Crossing the line

plate spinning

I refer to my life in terms of spinning plates.

At any point in time I have multiple plates spinning. It is a fine but blurry line between too many plates and not near enough, but “luckily” testing lines with a dangerous combination of curiosity, ambition and pride has been a historic specialty of mine.

I get a masochistic kick out of challenging myself to see just how many plates I can keep going, and this week definitely set a record that put a significant dent in my office’s keurig supply, my sleep and liver health (good thing those things regenerate, right?).

Between insane work expectations, wedding planning, marriage planning, doctor appointments and just plain life, all the plates went airborne this week and left me scrambling at the bottom, hoping nothing would break.

how I felt this week, minus Natalie Portman’s “time to go” ear tug

I wish I had some wise words or a witty experience to share with you all today. All I can say is sometimes slow starts with coffee and a travel magazine, 3-mile weekend walks with your roommate and a lazy afternoon with your fiance and the latest Sherlock episode can’t come at a better time.