Westley and I are fighting. Sometimes, kids, having a dog is just no fun. And today was one of those days.

At 2 AM, whilst sleeping soundly, I got a call from the roomie letting me know that Westley had locked himself in the bathroom and was barking/generally freaking out. “Oh Splendid!” I thought to myself. And my boyfriend and I happily got out of bed to brace the cold front to head 20 minutes up the highway. Such a treat!

My bathroom is a trap. The door won’t stay open, it slowly closes unless blocked. And right next to the doorway is a drawer. When the draw is opened, which we will now refer to as the damn drawer, the door can’t open. Which isn’t usually a problem. Since someone would need to be in the bathroom to open the drawer. One would think.

Somehow, through fate and twisted odds, Westley went into the bathroom and it closed behind him. By trying to get it open with his little nose, he latched it closed. This would have been an easy fix. Just open the door! No problem at all. But. No. We’re not that lucky. The damn drawer SOMEHOW OPENED fully opened. COMPLETELY blocking the ability for the door to open more than half a centimeter. Through trials and wire hangers, we were out of ways to close the damn drawer. So, we had to bend the door to create enough space for Westley to weasel his way out. So there we are, 4 AM, comforting a terrified pup and no access to a toilet. I’d like to add that when you realize you can’t go pee, you all of a sudden have a full tank. This is science proven fact, I’m sure of it.

The next morning, it took a few white lies and begging to get maintenance to come out so I could get to my bathroom. By 1 PM, we were all set. After that, I drove my boyfriend and I to breakfast to buy “sorry for waking you up at 2 AM and then holding you hostage in my apartment till 1 PM and thank you for helping rescue my dog” breakfast tacos. Those were some delicious “I’m sorry” tacos though lemme tell ya.

Then Westley and I headed all the way 25 minutes north to redeem the second of the four Groupon self-serve baths I had waiting for me.  But guess what, they just happened to be closed for a family emergency. Which you’re frustrated about, but then you feel really bad about being frustrated by a family emergency. 

Desperate, I take him to another self serve groomers, pay $17 and move on with my life. I get home and then face the music that is my bathroom.

Not only did Westley freak out vocally, but as it turned out he also took it out on the carpet and the door. It appears he made great strides to try to dig underneath to escape. Pieces of the carpet were everywhere. EVERYWHERE. They were also on my black, gorgeous, 5 year old, dedicated, warm, Lululemon pants. Which, as it turns out, little Westley got angry at and tore holes in.

So in total, today Westley cost me a new door, a broken drawer, carpet replacement, a bath, Lululemon pants and a general sense of exhaustion.

The remainder of my day was spent doing laundry and watching a much needed Scandal marathon. So yeah, sometimes having a dog sucks a big one.

Update: this morning, now Monday, Westley has thrown up. Twice.

It’s a good thing they’re so damn cute and also give you days like this…